$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
