It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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