No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We're too hungover to prance.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
