fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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