Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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