shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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