North Korea, Best Korea!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
sex in a hospital.. check
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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