I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
