he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize