I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
