I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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