At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
