I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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