there was a trapeze. enough said
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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