Who did Billy Mays play for?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
