WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
