Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
