When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
