Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
