Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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