with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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