Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
