so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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