I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Congratulations! We have a period
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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