Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize