i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
