Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I have fence marks all over my body
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