fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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