You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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