I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
