that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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