I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize