Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
