you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
