Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So squirting runs in the family.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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