i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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