my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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