And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
