My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
