She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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