Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
