Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
