As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
