I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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