He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
