dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she looked like the before picture.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
