I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
