and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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