Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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