see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
