i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My bed smells like the plague
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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