In the future we'll all be gay
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
