i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
my poor anus
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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