I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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