Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
