it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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