I'm pants shitting drunk right now
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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