Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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