he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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