she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize