how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize