This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
