Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
