I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
