Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
