her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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