Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
