I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
