i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
