K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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